My Isolation Sessions
Rediscovering a Passion in Playing Music During this Pandemic
As with many of you, the last few months have been very challenging. Whether its social isolation due to the coronavirus pandemic, the long overdue movement for racial equality and social justice and the irresponsible lack of crisis response by this so called federal government, the world is literally turning upside down, right-side left. Needless to say, the impact to families and individuals has been hard. What if all this falls on top of existing problems and challenges? It becomes an unbearable weight on one’s shoulders, potentially crushing it. How does one cope? In isolation, I’ve turned to music to find some solace and a semblance of normalcy. Specifically, rediscovering playing music again to remind me of that there is still order and beauty in all this chaos.
I first learned to play guitar back in high school during the early 90’s grunge / alternative rock movement. It was a time when bands like Pearl Jam, Nirvana and Soundgarden dominated the airwaves. Prior to these bands, I was listened to Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston, which I still do by the way :-) That said, the music coming from the Seattle grunge movement had profound meaning and spoke directly to me. The music inspired me to pick up the guitar, play drums and dabble with piano.
While I’ve been playing music now and then, I’d pick up my guitar sporadically. For context, I was part of various bands in college where we played parties, co-ops and empty venues at Cal. Post college, I also was part of bands but given I had a taste of “success” having a consulting job lined up, I will admit that I “sold out”. There, I said it… Are you happy now?
All changed when Pearl Jam released their 11th album entitled “Gigaton” on March 2020. For those who know me, I’ve been a lifelong Pearl Jam fan so I was super giddy knowing that the album would be dropping soon enough. I was even lucky enough to hear an advanced copy a week prior to release.
Given that the shelter-in-place (SIP) order in San Francisco started in mid March 2020, “Gigaton” was an absolute gift during the start of SIP. The album inspired me musically given it was their best album since they released Vitalogy in 1994/1995. Thematically, the album was inexplicably relevant to the current state of things — the pandemic. Lyrically, it’s like Eddie Vedder somehow knew that the pandemic was coming when he sang “we’re stuck in our boxes, windows open no more” in the album’s third track “Dance of the Clairvoyants”. Gigaton is prescient to say the least and there are plenty of lyrical content that are eerily relevant to the current state of the world. Eddie, how did you know??? What’s gonna happen next??? Is Trump actually Biff Tannen from “Back to the Future”???
Musically, being isolated and stuck at home due to the SIP order, I decided to pick up my guitar again and start learning the songs on “Gigaton”. Every night, I’d figure out 1–3 songs from the album. Then eventually, I learned them all and played along the album from start to finish. Given I’ve probably played Gigaton over 20x, I needed to branch out and play something else, perhaps older favorites. But for some reason, this time I wanted to start recording my self jam sessions. I bought gear that allowed me to hook up my guitar to my laptop. I even learned a new tool, GarageBand, so I can record myself digitally. Mind you, the 4-track was the last recording device I used. I’ve probably aged myself there…LOL
One day, I was texting with a good friend Jean-Luis, another Pearl Jam nut, about songs I’d like to cover and overlay guitar solos to just for the hell of it! For some reason, I needed to do it and get it out. I told him, I’d really like to do guitar solos on top of Neil Young’s “Cortez the Killer”. Later on that night, to my surprise, Jean-Luis sent me a GarageBand rhythm track of the song where he played guitar, bass and drums with no leads and said “have at it”. I started playing along with the track and attempted to do lead guitar and solos while recording it. Needless to say, I was pretty rusty but thankfully, it sounded good enough, I think. One can even my guitar playing was an homage to Neil Young’s dirty guitar style of playing. Aside from the leads, I wanted to add an additional distorted rhythm guitar to the existing mix so I layered in a fuzzy guitar part which rounded out the sound and made it more “full”. The following day, I decided to record the vocals to the song and do a first full mix. Since then, I’ve remixed it multiple times, probably 15x at least.
Like a drug, I was hooked! I started thinking about other songs to cover and record. I even bought additional music gear and instruments such as new microphones, a MIDI keyboard and a new guitar — an American made Fender Telecaster in candy apple red. Its a beautiful guitar and feels just right when I’m playing. Her name is “Goldilocks” even though she’s red.
Since that first recording of “Cortez the Killer”, I’ve probably recorded over 25 songs. While I never intended to compile a set of songs to make a compilation album of covers, why the hell not. I ended up focusing on 12 songs to do a covers album and diligently thought about the track list, themes and sequencing to tell a story. Remember the process of putting together a mixed tape/CD? Well, I’m essentially making a mixed tape like I did a couple decades back but with me playing everything (i.e., Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Drums and Keyboards/Piano) in isolation.
Thinking about the crazy state of the world, here’s my attempt at curating a track-list for what I’m calling “Isolation Sessions” from start to finish:
“I Can’t Explain” — The Who
I thought it was appropriate to start this album off with this track given the relevance to what’s happening currently. This song is about being in a state of confusion and uncertainty. Something is happening and it feels uncomfortable. It’s hard to explain what exactly “it” is and that uncertainty is potentially leading into fear.
“A Day in the Life” — The Beatles
This song is as beautiful as it is bizarre. It’s likely the result of the fact that its really two songs stitched into one; half Lennon’s composition and the other half McCartney’s. Thematically, it follows the confusion in “I Can’t Explain” but that sentiment quickly turns into chaos and eventually, death. As McCartney says, “doesn’t it make you want to have a smoke, go into a dream and just escape”? Doesn’t that sound great right now?
“Against All Odds” — Phil Collins
As I started recording covers, I’d send rough mixes to friends to get feedback. Then they’d request songs as well. My friend Kanad asked me to do a Phil Collins song. He said it didn’t matter which song. Over a beer, I’ll tell you why I specifically chose and covered this song. It means something different for me than what Phil probably intended.
“Nightswimming” — R.E.M.
The first physical CD I ever bought was R.E.M.’s “Automatic for the People”. If I remember correctly, it was at a Costco in the San Fernando Valley. This song has always been my favorite track from that album. I can’t help but to feel nostalgic when listening to this song. It makes you appreciate all of life’s blissful moments. If you find yourself reflecting back on good moments, don’t worry — it’s ok to remind yourself of good times, particularly nowadays.
“Misty” — Johnny Mathis
Recently, I learned how my father in law used to sing this song to my wife when she was a little girl. When I imagine him singing to her, I can’t help but think about how beautiful a moment that must have been! Unfortunately, my father in law passed away last year. In his honor, I decided that I’d attempt to do a cover of “Misty” for my wife. I hope I did this song justice but I don’t know if I did. Regardless, I miss you Daddy Dupil! This one’s for you.
“Hurt” — Nine Inch Nails
Nostalgia can sometimes lead to fear. That fear leads to despair. “Hurt” captures that sentiment. So heavy and real. Not much else to say. What a song…
“Even Flow” — Pearl Jam
So in realizing how rusty I was at playing guitar, I went back to the basics and practiced musical scales again — the pentatonic and the major scale. Every night, up and down the guitar neck over and over again. I think I drove my wife nuts and I’m sorry for that. As I gained speed and finger dexterity, I thought I’d test my newly gained powers and do a cover of Pearl Jam’s “Even Flow” given its fast, has a super groovy rhythm, has a lot of cool guitar licks and killer solo. Technically, given everything you hear in the track is me, I had to summon my best version of Stone Gossard and Mike McCready. Actually, this also include Eddie Vedder, Jeff Ament and Dave Krusen as well (he played drums originally).
Lyrically, this song hasn’t lost its relevance even if it was originally released almost 30 years ago. While it’s hard to decipher what Eddie is singing, “Even Flow” is actually a story of a homelessness and a specific person encountering being homeless. Why is that relevant? The coronavirus pandemic has and will result in greater poverty and people living in the streets. I’m hopeful this song is a reminder that we need to be more empathetic now more than ever.
“Cortez the Killer” — Neil Young
This is the song that started all of recording cover bullshit. Haha. It’s pretty “raw” musically mainly because I was technically rusty. By the way, at some point, I wanted to alter the lyrics slightly and substitute “Trump” for “Cortez”. But I decided against that foolish thought. Why? Frankly, he doesn’t deserve to even be mentioned.
“Just Breathe” — Pearl Jam
TO BREATHE IS TO LIVE. There’s probably no other word more relevant in today’s world. From Covid-19 patients on ventilators unable to breathe on their own, to George Floyd’s plea of “I can’t breathe” while pinned down on the ground with a knee on his back, to individuals suffering from panic attacks given the impact of social isolation and the feeling that “this will never end”, this seems all connected. We all need to just breathe. Please…
BTW, kudos to Jean-Luis for the great guitar work. Sorry JL, my pinky is too short. Lol…
“Stand By Me” — Ben E. King
Through all challenges of this time, even if we’re socially distanced, it’s more important now than ever to empathize, support and feel someone has your back. This is such a classic and I hope I did it justice.
“Seven O’Clock” — Pearl Jam
Back to Pearl Jam’s “Gigaton”. For me, there’s a standout track in that album and it’s this song. It’s been the song I’ve listened to nonstop during this pandemic. At the core, this is a song that demands us to take action given the unprecedented challenges we’re facing. Our government has failed us and their refusal to take action is literally killing people. As Eddie Vedder says, there is “much to be done” so let’s go!
From a technical perspective, this is the mother of it all. I recorded so many tracks to do this song. If you listen carefully, there are several layers in the mix — 4 guitars, 2 synthesizers, a piano, bass and drums. I probably recorded the vocals more than 20x and it still sucks, I think. In any case, everything you hear in the recording is my work. BTW, the melody on the verses are so subtle and hard to replicate. Trust me, I tried many many times. Eddie is so fucking talented! Still, I hope hard work pays off. You tell me :-)
BTW, I wrote about why this is probably the best song Pearl Jam has written since the Vitalogy era.
“What a Wonderful World” — Louis Armstrong
My daughter was my inspiration for this song. I kept thinking about the world my she will grow up in. To be honest, every time I tried to record the vocals, I got too emotional. I attempted laying down the vocals for this song a lot of times. Regardless of my many attempts, I’m sorry but you will hear the struggle.
My goal was to end this album on a positive note. Honestly, I don’t think I accomplished that with this song given how the final version turned out. You’ll understand why not if you listen to it. Still, I pushed to finish it. Its real, honest and too vulnerable to my liking. But it is what it is…I hope someone appreciates it.
BTW, please listen until the very end; you’ll hear a very special guest…
Honestly, I’m not usually the type of person that likes to share stuff like this; I hate looking vulnerable. But you know what, times have literally changed so now is the time… Maybe someone will actually like a song or two from this collection or perhaps a song here triggers some kind of emotional response… Heck, someone might even find a trace of meaning or inspiration from this work. If you had a reaction, good or bad, I think I’ve done my job. That said, I‘m hopeful that I’ve done a good enough job to inspire at least 1 individual. That would make me super happy.
This collection of songs represents my isolation sessions. Thank you for listening! Stay healthy, safe and sane… I will see you on the other side of this pandemic.
Special thanks goes to my wife for being so understanding and giving me time to rediscover an old passion. Also to my daughter — you made being isolated a gift. You gave me purpose and hope..I love you! Lastly, to Jean-Luis for rekindling the flame. Actually, a big FU to you cause you woke up the beast. Lastly, to my family and friends that provided good feedback, enough fuel to keep me going and finish this.
